I am 64 years old and have lived with mental illness for 52 years. I informed all my employers of my illness during initial interviews. Unlike now, it did not make a difference. A third of my working life was spent as a caregiver. I developed a professional reputation for managing toddlers that resulted in my being recruited for training as a Montessori teacher.
I never had legal problems associated with my illness and was only hospitalized once (voluntarily.) Mental Illness: Lockdown (Lockdown) begins near the middle of my story and covers a broad range of topics. These topics include-
- Descriptions of events just before, during and after my voluntary committment
- My Experience with Therapy
- My Childhood Symptoms
- Recreational Drugs and a Psychotic break
- Pre-psychiatric Care
- Psychiatric Care in the Public Healthcare System
- Borderline Personality Disorder Misdiagnosis
- Returning to Reality after 14 Years of Being Ill
- Sex and Trauma
- Religious Experience
- Private Care
The impetus for Lockdown was my disappointment with both the book and film Girl Interrupted. I differ from the protagonist of Girl Interrupted in that my primary diagnosis was initially Bipolar Disorder Type 1. This diagnosis evolved into Schizoaffective Disorder: Bipolar Type. Like the protagonist of Girl Interrupted I had a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) for a period of time. Lockdown examines BPD in much greater detail than Girl Interrupted.
I have tried to be as frank, honest and descriptive as possible. This may trigger some individuals. My writing style evolves as my condition improves.
John Eugene Panic